Gilcunlipflat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, competent tapir.

Gilcunlipflat created a Higgs boson eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gilcunlipflat, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gilcunlipflat, it will come to you in dreams.

Gilcunlipflat's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Gilcunlipflat's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gilcunlipflat.

2. Never mention tortoises.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near shrews while wearing yellow scarves and balancing nine silicon spheres on your back.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not listen to music.