Nilstersig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, pitiless chinchilla.

Nilstersig created dark energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilstersig, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nilstersig, he will send you a sign.

Nilstersig's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Nilstersig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

2. Do not sprint in public.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Never feed onions to shrews while wearing corsets.

5. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Nilstersig in the centre of the settlement.