Tailhapmondibdissteen is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, stupid squirrel.

Tailhapmondibdissteen created time and space four million years ago.

If you believe in Tailhapmondibdissteen, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tailhapmondibdissteen, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tailhapmondibdissteen's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Tailhapmondibdissteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near pigs while wearing cyan stockings and balancing eight platinum spheres on your chest.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Tailhapmondibdissteen loves doves, so they must be honoured.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.