Yartdumsaglaktifnak is a god.

He takes the form of a small, conceited snail.

Yartdumsaglaktifnak created oxygen three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartdumsaglaktifnak, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Yartdumsaglaktifnak, he will send you a sign.

Yartdumsaglaktifnak's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Yartdumsaglaktifnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about special relativity near snails while wearing red ear rings.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never go into purple rooms.