Bestwikbim is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, compassionate skunk.

Bestwikbim created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestwikbim, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bestwikbim, he will remove you from existence.

Bestwikbim's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Bestwikbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Run away from blue geese, for they are unholy.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.