Dossdumjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, blissful walrus.

Dossdumjarn created the Sol system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dossdumjarn, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dossdumjarn, he will not care at all.

Dossdumjarn's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Dossdumjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never skip near great tits.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Dossdumjarn must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never think ill of sick porpoises.