Vablegcep Gansabwab Apptifbag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, egotistical lion.

Vablegcep Gansabwab Apptifbag created a down quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vablegcep Gansabwab Apptifbag, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Vablegcep Gansabwab Apptifbag, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Vablegcep Gansabwab Apptifbag's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Vablegcep Gansabwab Apptifbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Run away from green great tits, for they are unholy.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.