Vendoglapcem is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, flying clam.

Vendoglapcem created the Sombrero Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vendoglapcem, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Vendoglapcem, he will remove you from existence.

Vendoglapcem's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Vendoglapcem's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Vendoglapcem.

2. Do not eat turnips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not shave your head.

5. Do not keep four tapirs in a large pit.