Xemxinyog is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unselfish finch.

Xemxinyog created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemxinyog, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Xemxinyog, it will turn you into a plant.

Xemxinyog's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Xemxinyog's Holy Commandments

1. Xemxinyog must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Worship no other gods but Xemxinyog.

3. You must never eat cherries.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Never talk about spacetime near tortoises while wearing purple jumpers.