Flyjenfob is a god.

He takes the form of a large, charitable jaguar.

Flyjenfob created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flyjenfob, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flyjenfob, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Flyjenfob's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Flyjenfob's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not take Flyjenfob's name in vain.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flyjenfob.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory.

5. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.