Citdabingwik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless sheep.

Citdabingwik created Africa two years ago.

If you believe in Citdabingwik, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Citdabingwik, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Citdabingwik's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Citdabingwik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Hide if three snails approach from the north.