Basscadboss is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, sapient mouse.

Basscadboss created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Basscadboss, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Basscadboss, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Basscadboss' most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Basscadboss' Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Basscadboss.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

3. Never paint your neck turquoise.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Basscadboss.