Bogtonnan Bonkflabvonk Pakflisdiss is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, awe-inspiring goat.

Bogtonnan Bonkflabvonk Pakflisdiss created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogtonnan Bonkflabvonk Pakflisdiss, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bogtonnan Bonkflabvonk Pakflisdiss, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bogtonnan Bonkflabvonk Pakflisdiss' most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Bogtonnan Bonkflabvonk Pakflisdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near horses.

2. Never think ill of sick pigs.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Never write about nucleic acids.

5. Learn four new languages a year.