Mitbemman is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, sage crane.

Mitbemman created viruses three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitbemman, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Mitbemman, he will send minions to preach to you.

Mitbemman's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Mitbemman's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never skip near tortoises.

5. Never wear white trousers.