Yarlyoklarp is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, loving octopus.

Yarlyoklarp created vertebrates three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlyoklarp, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yarlyoklarp, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Yarlyoklarp's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Yarlyoklarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not eat apples.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never feed peanuts to aardvarks while wearing coats.