Fedsterstan is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, ruthless hippopotamus.

Fedsterstan created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fedsterstan, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fedsterstan, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Fedsterstan's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Fedsterstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to moths while wearing coats.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near sharks while wearing brown hats and balancing five aluminium spheres on your hands.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near cats while wearing black skirts and balancing seven zinc spheres on your neck.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not make images of living things.