Teenflyfen is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, annoying eagle.

Teenflyfen created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Teenflyfen, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Teenflyfen, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Teenflyfen's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Teenflyfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.