Fitcenzed is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, boastful lion.

Fitcenzed created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitcenzed, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fitcenzed, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fitcenzed's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Fitcenzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never wear brown rings.

3. Do not wear orange clothing.

4. Run away if five tapirs approach from the east.

5. You must pray to Fitcenzed four times a day.