Fonpasmit is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, dishonourable badger.

Fonpasmit created matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonpasmit, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fonpasmit, it will turn you into a hamster.

Fonpasmit's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Fonpasmit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from blue moths for they are unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always help sick sharks.