Quatrulldut Parkmumlarp is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, generous goblin.

Quatrulldut Parkmumlarp created gold eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatrulldut Parkmumlarp, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quatrulldut Parkmumlarp, he will make you grow a tail.

Quatrulldut Parkmumlarp's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Quatrulldut Parkmumlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics.

2. Feed all hungry foxes.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.