Lanhamsak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, calm wolf.

Lanhamsak created the planet Earth six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lanhamsak, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lanhamsak, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lanhamsak's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Lanhamsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Always help sheep in need.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. You must never eat gooseberries.