Teenkonyok is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, amazing jackal.

Teenkonyok created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenkonyok, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Teenkonyok, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Teenkonyok's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Teenkonyok's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Teenkonyok.

3. Never wear red ear rings.

4. Do not hurt goats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.