Dotgudpog is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, resourceful seal.

Dotgudpog created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dotgudpog, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dotgudpog, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Dotgudpog's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Dotgudpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of gooseberries to sheep while wearing indigo corsets.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near voles while wearing blue jumpers and balancing three platinum spheres on your chest.

4. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Dotgudpog in the centre of the settlement.

5. Pray towards the north.