Big is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, idiotic cow.

Big created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Big, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Big, it will turn you into a rock.

Big's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Big's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Big loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

4. Never feed lots of wheat to foxes while wearing turquoise stockings.

5. Never look in ponds.