Nibyim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, self-assured mouse.

Nibyim created a photon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nibyim, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nibyim, she will turn you into a slug.

Nibyim's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Nibyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about hamsters.

2. Nibyim must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Retreat if eight porpoises approach from the south.

5. Feed all hungry tapirs.