Dagxuckwod is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, slow seal.

Dagxuckwod created the Milkyway four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagxuckwod, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dagxuckwod, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Dagxuckwod's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Dagxuckwod's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

2. Never think ill of sick frogs.

3. Put Dagxuckwod first in all things.

4. Erect three iron sculptures of Dagxuckwod on top of important buildings.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near monkeys while wearing magenta hats and balancing eight gold spheres on your feet.