Flapontfen is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, contented owl.

Flapontfen created tapeworms three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapontfen, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flapontfen, she will turn you into a frog.

Flapontfen's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Flapontfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms black.

2. Never skip in the presence of turtles.

3. Never talk about dark matter near frogs while wearing red rings.

4. Always help sick porpoises.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.