Fidtofshav is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, tranquil meerkat.

Fidtofshav created an atom six million years ago.

If you believe in Fidtofshav, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fidtofshav, he will destroy your home solar system.

Fidtofshav's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Fidtofshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Fidtofshav in the centre of the settlement.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never write about cell theory.