Pinrigfuntetti is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, witless squirrel.

Pinrigfuntetti created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinrigfuntetti, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pinrigfuntetti, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Pinrigfuntetti's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Pinrigfuntetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Run away from green moths, for they are unholy.

3. Do not speak about apples.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Pinrigfuntetti.