Fossflowkem is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, smart cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fossflowkem created a quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fossflowkem, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fossflowkem, she will send you a sign.

Fossflowkem's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Fossflowkem's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven iron sculptures of Fossflowkem on top of important buildings.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never feed beans to geese while wearing white shoes.

5. Never hurt sharks.