Tamstannat is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, irritating turtle.

Tamstannat created the planet Mars seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamstannat, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tamstannat, she will not care at all.

Tamstannat's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Tamstannat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.