Yartlimsas is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, generous clam.

Yartlimsas created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartlimsas, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yartlimsas, she will curse you with boils.

Yartlimsas' most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Yartlimsas' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Yartlimsas eight times a day.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never mention badgers.

5. Respect your elders.