Safflatkop Vilnuttvencedvadran is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, dishonest frog.

Safflatkop Vilnuttvencedvadran created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safflatkop Vilnuttvencedvadran, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Safflatkop Vilnuttvencedvadran, he will manifest in front of you.

Safflatkop Vilnuttvencedvadran's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Safflatkop Vilnuttvencedvadran's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry cats.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

5. Never think about galaxies.