Likwiksidlim is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, grumpy dove.

Likwiksidlim created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Likwiksidlim, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Likwiksidlim, it will turn you into a snail.

Likwiksidlim's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Likwiksidlim's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight seals approach from the west.

2. You must never eat grapes.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always help sick dogs.

5. Do not eat peas.