Gigtadban is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, all-knowing crocodile.

Gigtadban created the planet Saturn seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gigtadban, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gigtadban, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Gigtadban's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gigtadban's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to ducks while wearing yellow skirts.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away from pink horses, for they are unholy.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Do not cook food in pots.