Tanmutlinfut is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, witless gerbil.

Tanmutlinfut created gold two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanmutlinfut, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tanmutlinfut, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tanmutlinfut's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tanmutlinfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured great tits.

2. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Tanmutlinfut in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Erect five tin sculptures of Tanmutlinfut on top of important buildings.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tanmutlinfut.