Flambagbem is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, kind toad.

Flambagbem created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flambagbem, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flambagbem, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Flambagbem's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Flambagbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick gulls.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always help sick swans.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Run away from brown aardvarks, for they are unholy.