Fosscancattail is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, ruthless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fosscancattail created Asia eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fosscancattail, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fosscancattail, he will have a low opinion of you.

Fosscancattail's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Fosscancattail's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Retreat if four sharks approach from the south.

3. Never think about eukaryotes.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. You must pray to Fosscancattail six times a day.