Rillargfig Pitflagnardavmipwitnullnig is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonourable badger.

Rillargfig Pitflagnardavmipwitnullnig created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rillargfig Pitflagnardavmipwitnullnig, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rillargfig Pitflagnardavmipwitnullnig, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rillargfig Pitflagnardavmipwitnullnig's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Rillargfig Pitflagnardavmipwitnullnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not hurt shrews.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Rillargfig Pitflagnardavmipwitnullnig loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

5. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.