Farnhittarg is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, uncaring raccoon.

Farnhittarg created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnhittarg, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Farnhittarg, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Farnhittarg's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Farnhittarg's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never wear violet dresses.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Fast once a month.