Vogtapkar is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, fast armadillo.

Vogtapkar created the Black Eye Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogtapkar, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vogtapkar, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Vogtapkar's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Vogtapkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight eagles in a large pit.

2. Never paint your head gray.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always help sick cats.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near monkeys while wearing blue boots and balancing four aluminium spheres on your back.