Appwanwit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonest hydra.

Appwanwit created the world seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Appwanwit, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Appwanwit, she will turn you into a hamster.

Appwanwit's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Appwanwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear pink clothing.

2. Never feed tomatoes to sheep while wearing jumpers.

3. Always help nematodes in need.

4. Never talk about manatees.

5. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Appwanwit in the centre of the settlement.