Funmob is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unfair elephant.

Funmob created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Funmob, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Funmob, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Funmob's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Funmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

5. Never wear hats.