Fetmitmatzod is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, flying hedgehog.

Fetmitmatzod created a down quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetmitmatzod, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fetmitmatzod, she will be very unhappy.

Fetmitmatzod's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Fetmitmatzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat carrots.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Fetmitmatzod in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Never feed lots of pineapples to voles while wearing green shoes.

5. Never laugh near mites.