Hablampog is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, dishonourable gorilla.

Hablampog created a Higgs boson six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hablampog, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hablampog, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Hablampog's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Hablampog's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never eat coconuts.

5. Never talk about nebulae.