Ingingfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, proud monkey.

Ingingfoss created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ingingfoss, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ingingfoss, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Ingingfoss' most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Ingingfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near doves while wearing white dresses and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your head.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Always help gulls.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not drink water in pink rooms.