Fonhinton is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, happy giraffe.

Fonhinton created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonhinton, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fonhinton, it will boil you in a big pot.

Fonhinton's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Fonhinton's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. You must never eat turnips.

3. Do not eat rice.

4. Never feed cherries to grasshopers while wearing skirts.

5. Always obey Fonhinton's priests.