Nutpakjig is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, calm rhinoceros.

Nutpakjig created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutpakjig, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nutpakjig, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Nutpakjig's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Nutpakjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never wear orange rings.

3. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always treat shrews with great respect.