Monbopvigtom is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, almighty hippopotamus.

Monbopvigtom created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monbopvigtom, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Monbopvigtom, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Monbopvigtom's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Monbopvigtom's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured sharks.

2. Never paint your hands gray.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Monbopvigtom in the centre of the settlement.

4. You must never eat coconuts.

5. Do not keep five birds in a large pit.