Fosstalquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, annoying wasp.

Fosstalquaf created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fosstalquaf, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fosstalquaf, she will turn you into a puffin.

Fosstalquaf's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Fosstalquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about oranges.

2. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Worship no other gods but Fosstalquaf.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Retreat if seven goats approach from the east.